5.2 Video
Outline with Timestamps
00:00 – Introduction
Ali and Alaa introduce the episode and frame the discussion on the ICF competency “Maintains Presence.”
01:20 – Why “Presence” Needs Its Own Competency
They discuss why something seemingly obvious must be explicitly defined and practiced.
03:25 – Behavior 1: Staying Focused and Responsive
Managing distractions, the difference between in-person and online coaching, and how to stay mentally and emotionally focused.
06:40 – The Role of Body Language and Attention
Challenges of reading body language online and strategies to maintain deep engagement.
08:05 – Avoiding “Powerful Questioning” Traps
Why rehearsing questions can disconnect you from the moment and how the new ICF model emphasizes natural flow.
11:27 – Behavior 2: Demonstrating Curiosity
How curiosity drives genuine coaching conversations versus agenda-driven questioning.
12:50 – Asking Without Judgment
The problem with “Why?” and how reframing questions builds safety and exploration.
15:25 – Posture, Energy, and Mirroring
Using physical presence and tone to convey genuine curiosity and empathy.
16:30 – Slowing the Brain and Replacing Fix-It Thinking
Replacing problem-solving instincts with curiosity and awareness.
18:33 – Behavior 3: Managing One’s Emotions
The challenge of emotional control before, during, and after coaching sessions.
23:00 – Emotional Readiness and Boundaries
How to “warm up” before a session, decompress after, and hold space effectively.
26:20 – Behavior 4: Handling Strong Emotions Confidently
What to do when clients cry or share deeply emotional stories—how to stay grounded without rescuing.
29:50 – Emotional Regulation and Grounding
Using grounding as an analogy and practical technique for composure and release.
32:00 – The Importance of Self-Care for Coaches
Why coaches must maintain their own mental and emotional health to be effective.
34:30 – Behavior 5: Comfort in “Not Knowing”
Letting go of the need for control, resisting the urge to fill gaps, and trusting the process.
38:15 – Lessons from Teaching and Curiosity
Ali shares parallels between coaching, teaching, and the acceptance of “I don’t know.”
43:30 – Behavior 6: Holding Space for Silence and Reflection
The power of silence as a canvas for insight, and how to use pauses intentionally.
45:40 – Silence and the Gen Z Challenge
Why silence can feel uncomfortable, especially for new coaches, and how to embrace it.
47:45 – Online Coaching and Maintaining Presence
Overcoming connection issues and using subtle cues to show attentiveness virtually.
50:00 – Pitfalls and Common Mistakes
Key traps like rehearsing questions, losing energy, over-relying on frameworks, and multitasking.
55:20 – Tools vs Presence
Why coaching isn’t about using worksheets but being present with the client’s needs.
58:05 – Final Reflections
Closing thoughts, reminders on emotional readiness, and importance of self-check-ins.
01:01:30 – Recommended Readings and Resources
Ali shares neuroscience and psychology books that reinforce the power of presence and co-regulation.
01:04:00 – Closing and Farewell
Wrap-up of the “Co-Creating the Relationship” section and preview of what’s next.